There are mortals like you and I who go through a set pattern of life that begins with birth and goes through the periods of childhood, adolescence, middle age, older age and hitting the dirt. Then there are people who, while going through the same process of living, turn out labelled as VIPs. How are these characters different from ordinary mortals. Well, first of all by their title they are declared as very important persons. However, what differentiates them from the common riffraff is not their title but their nature. The VIP title affords them a distinction of being cared for and treated differently, more attentively, more gingerly, more prominently and they mostly come in the guise of bureaucrats and elected representatives. And they all share one personality trait: they get slighted easily. You make one move out of protocol and you offended the VIP soul. This is a rather unusual personality trait that is not common to ordinary human beings. I have searched throughout my history books and have failed to come up with any historic or genetic lineage that might describe this state of personality. However, if I dig into the textbooks of psychology, the answer comes readily. A person conscious of his or her status is actually insecure about it. It is the fear of losing it that requires continual reminding and propping. And this brings to the greatest discovery of this century that the acronym VIP has been aptly applied to these people, it actually stands for Very Insecure Persons. Now there are VVIPs in the guise of prime ministers, opposition leaders and chief ministers whose positions are really insecure and hence the title Very Very Insecure Persons.

Having resolved the mystery of the VIPs, we can all take great solace in our secure souls and must thank Lord that we do not have to live through the agony of proving ourselves every minute of the day that we are worthy of our corporeal self. And yes, next time you are in a traffic jam waiting for a VIP pageant to fly-by, say your grace.

[13 December 1994 The Daily Dawn]